In celebration of Valentine’s Day, we’re exploring the definition of love across time, space, and cultures. From types of love defined in ancient civilisations, to current definitions of modern love, learn about the force that moves the world around.
Ancient Greece’s 7 types of love
Love has many different meanings for each and every one of us. The Ancient Greeks were the first to identify 7 distinct types of love that we experience in our entire lifetime: Eros, Ludus, Philia, Pragma, Philacia, Storge, and Agape.
From Eros, the Goddess of passion and divine beauty comes the first type of love. Eros is the most intense type of love associated with youth, passion and the first great romance.
Similar to Eros, Ludus is a juvenile form of love, a type of love associated with playfulness and chaos. Ludus is about having fun in the moment; irrespective of the future.
Pragma embodies a calmer, more mature form of love. It’s the love that involves kindness, commitment, understanding and compromise. This type of love is usually connected to married couples. If Eros is falling in love, Pragma is about standing in love, for better or worse.
Philia is the personified Goddess of friendship and affection. A Goddess who had the power to build strong and endearing empires, Philia represents the platonic, brotherly, and sincere love that we feel towards our siblings and friends.
A love that involves sacrifice and unconditional affection, Storge is an instinctive form of love that exudes nurturing, protection, and abundant giving – much like a mother’s love towards her children.
While all the previous forms involve love from one person to another, Philacia is the love we have for the self. There are two forms of Philacia: a selfish egocentric love of the self, and a healthy type of self-love; the one we need for personal growth and being kind to ourselves.
The highest and purest form of love, according to the Ancient Greeks, is Agape. Agape is the highest form of love because it embodies love for the entire humanity. An empathetic, selfless form of love, Agape is the love that makes us want to help someone in need, adopt benevolence and goodwill, without wanting anything in return. Compassionate, forgiving and kind, it’s the love that makes us want to make the world a better place.
Love in Modern Times
Many philosophers over time attempted to define love, with each standing on a different side of the spectrum of what they think love is. French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre viewed that love will always have a conflict between freedom and objectivity. Sartre believed that romantic relationships fail when they are centered around the idea of ownership, instead of seeking self-discovery and wisdom within ourselves. True love, according to Sartre, can only be achieved when both partners have a deep, mutual respect for each other’s freedom and resist the desire to control or possess one another.
German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche argues that love can only be found when self-love is present. In his book, Beyond Good and Evil, he argued that marriages fail because of lack of friendship, not lack of love.
American author and feminist, Bell Hooks, viewed that love is often tampered by the inequalities between men and women. In her best-selling book, All About Love: New Visions, Hooks wrote that women’s fear of being alone and unloved causes them to accept sexism and oppression. Genuine love, according to Hooks, is a combination of commitment, care, and trust; it should not be considered a vehicle that saves us or solves our problems.
In his research on love and emotional education, British author Alain De Botton offered some thought-provoking insights on the notion of love. Our idea of love, according to Botton, is heavily influenced by the outside world –the novels we read, the movies we see, and the songs we listen to.
Love is an elusive concept. Like many things, its meaning evolved over space and time and is influenced by our personal experiences. Perhaps there is not one easy way to describe what love is, but it wouldn’t hurt to keep trying until you find your own definition. What about you? What does love mean to you?
